LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
