she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I could make wine with my vomit
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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