i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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