I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she pinky promised me she was 18
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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