At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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