Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
