im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
