I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
