I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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