I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
