i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
