What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
