We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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