I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
