So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We are all done wearing pants today
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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