It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
