She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
