sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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