She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
