she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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