I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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