Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you told grandpa to call you daddy
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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