I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We just shotgunned beers for America
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
