Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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