Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
