Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
