I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
