is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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