Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
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Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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