So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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