when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
