why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
