Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
