this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
