people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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