the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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