My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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