Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
