Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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