K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i think i have herpe
just one?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
