Me. At least after what I've been through.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
false alarm, still single
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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