I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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