I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
