Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
