Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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