Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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