You can't special order awesome
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This is classic penis vs brain.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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