You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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