He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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