Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
