Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
