i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
