I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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