She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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