Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
