OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
