I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high