this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
