kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce