I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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