Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
