Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
