Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
