Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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