I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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