He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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